i barfeds in our rink
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
