I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize