nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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