There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
