the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
