When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
