Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
