How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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