I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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