Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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