thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
