rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
