i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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