why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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