what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize