my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
