i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I got inside last night via doggy door
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
