i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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