I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
