Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
