I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
