margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
