margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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