the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize