I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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