the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
