you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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