i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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