and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
