i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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