Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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