He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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