Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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