Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
