so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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