why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
