I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
