My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
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I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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