i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
