Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
