You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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