i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
