i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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