You're a womanizer and a bitch.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
