So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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