I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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