so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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