He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dear god my vagina.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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