She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Randomize
