do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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