I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
