I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize