Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
