We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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