I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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