I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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