just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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