I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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