Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a girl!!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years

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  (412): it's a girl!! (614): That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years http://tfl.nu/ln73
  Replies (30) Good night (6535) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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  (609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings (856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days http://tfl.nu/m946
  Replies (25) Good night (4201) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.

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  (678): Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too. http://tfl.nu/ijhr
  Replies (45) Good night (7614) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket

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  (601): she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket http://tfl.nu/j6rw
  Replies (8) Good night (3617) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.

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  (502): I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean. http://tfl.nu/5uk0
  Replies (6) Good night (4221) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.

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  (+61): I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision. http://tfl.nu/5ber
  Replies (8) Good night (1852) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything

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  (706): I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything http://tfl.nu/u65o
  Replies (11) Good night (1319) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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  (907): I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year. (907): I'm going to miss going to the strip club though. http://tfl.nu/ub9e
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.

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  (303): Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear. http://tfl.nu/k7jc
  Replies (18) Good night (3619) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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  (254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2354) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.

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  (310): oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars. http://tfl.nu/b3kf
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far

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  (785): He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far http://tfl.nu/hear
  Replies (8) Good night (692) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today

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  (512): I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today http://tfl.nu/x2es
  Replies (9) Good night (900) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.

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  (770): They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls. http://tfl.nu/suw6
  Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.

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  (360): Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that. http://tfl.nu/0kao
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (147)

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