with your own penis?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"