i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
