Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.