Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she woke up with a sticky ear
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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