Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Acid is not a monday night drug
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
