maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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