he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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