Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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