do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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